LAST EDITED: NOVEMBER 15, 2022 | BY: KIMBERLY EVANS

How To Rise When You Are Stuck in the Messy Middle

Life is messy! Let’s just start by being honest and putting that out there. We all have many great aspects of our lives, that we are immensely proud of, but life is full of challenges. Life pushes us to our limits and tests us. Sometimes we are able to control the messy situations and sometimes we can not prevent them. How we react to them is our responsibility. How we show up in our lives, at the times it is messiest, is on us.

Here are 7 things to remember when you are stuck in the messy middle:

1. Don’t let the messy middle define your joy ~ Sometimes our messy middles are things that are crushing. Maybe you are dealing with the loss of a loved one or the diagnosis of a serious illness. These things rock your world. But it is ok to allow yourself to feel joy and happiness amongst those difficult times. It can be an extremely confusing space to be in but being open to positivity in the middle of your mess is OK. In fact, you may find that allowing yourself some joy will make rising above it all just that much easier.

2. Sharing hard things is hard ~ Thank goodness it is becoming more and more acceptable to talk openly about our life’s messes. It is OK to not be OK. It is OK to show parts of you and your life that aren’t perfect. Sharing hard things allows people to relate to you and it widens your support group. Most people genuinely want the best for you and life becomes easier when we can talk it out. Things get easier when they are done together. Find your person or people or find your lane for sharing, and let people connect with and support you.

3. Ask for what you need ~ It may feel uncomfortable asking people for what you need. It is OK to have a voice and use your voice. People are not mind readers. Even though you may vent about your thoughts or problems, you can not expect them to know exactly how to support you. You need to tell ask for it - and you need to be crystal clear when doing so. Who knew you could actually ask for what you need?!

4. Show up as YOU! ~ Be you. Unapologetically and authentically. Be honest to yourself and others about who you are. No one is perfect but owning these “imperfections” creates self-awareness and helps you and others better understand you.

5. You will never have it ALL figured out ~ Life and its messes are tricky. We make lists and plans to help guide us through our messes, but we will never truly have it all figured out. There will always be curve balls thrown our way and obstacles to overcome. There will always be something standing in our way. But you need to keep pressing on. You need to continue to take that next step. Just the next one - without worrying about the steps that follow. Eventually, each single step will have helped move you past the mess.

6. Continue to do the work~ Getting through lives messes is not easy. It isn’t supposed to be. But the only way to rise above the mess is to keep trying. Look inside yourself and discover how to show up in the best way possible.

7. These seasons are temporary ~ Life might be testing you right now but it is ok to live a life of joy even though hard things are going on. Know that this time of adversity won’t last forever and it is OK to be happy when life is hard. Take a moment and think of some of the past difficulties you have experienced in your life. Remember just how hard they were and how overwhelming they felt when you were deep in the mess. Now look at where you are now. You made it through those times. You are no longer in that mess. We tend to feel things so deeply when we are immersed within them that they can consume us. Thankfully, the mess is temporary.

I hope you can take these tips, to bring joy to your chaos! I’d love to hear how you are rising in your own messy middle.

Pop over to @kimberly_joy_evans on Instagram to stay connected and let me know how you are staying organized.

With JOY,

If you know me well enough, you will know that I would rather do anything than sell my soul, posting about products that I don’t even like. This post contains affiliate links which I am so excited to recommend to you (and make just a little money from) and would hope that if you have the opportunity to recommend products you love, you would do the same.

Hello there!

Welcome to The Joy Curator Blog. I'm Kimberly, business consultant, event planner & girl mama, I'm on a mission to empower women to live a life of JOY, even when it's hard. There is always a seat at the table for you here.